I mean this with the most love and respect, but we often see parents rush much too soon (and in a stressed/panicked way) to any and all noises or wakings in the night. First time parents (this is something I personally struggled with) especially tend to hover or respond too soon. This can make it difficult for your baby to settle back to sleep. Learn the difference between some fussing/restlessness and actually crying out for a need (feeding, teething, diaper change, comfort, etc.) Consider staying calmly close by, or leaving for a few minutes.

This one is often overlooked. Consider what your baby gets up to during their wake window. We’ve seen many scenarios where a parent is so focused on their baby’s sleep timing and outcomes, that they don’t prioritise tummy time, outdoor time/fresh air and frequent enough feedings. Ideally, when your baby goes down for sleep, we want to be confident that all of their needs have been covered.

Wake windows can be a helpful tool, but there comes a time when they can become less effective. Perhaps the wake window hasn’t been adjusted to accommodate your baby getting older OR the wake windows have been held onto for too long. While following wake windows or “sweet spots” can be a powerful tool in early months, they eventually lose their power. Recognize when your baby isn’t responding well to wake windows anymore. This can look like resisting sleep, having shorter nap(s) than usual and/or having lengthy night wakings.

This is another one I struggled with. Instead of choosing a soothing technique to stick with, I would bounce between swinging/swaying, feeding, rocking, shhhing, etc. I remember doing this so quickly that my baby wouldn’t have much of a chance to settle at all. Learn from my mistakes, and try to stick with one soothing technique for a solid 5-10 minutes before swapping out for something else. We love to follow the “S” tricks: Swinging/swaying, shhhing, soother, and swaddling.

While we can’t always control everything in our baby’s sleep environment, there are usually some areas of opportunity. Here are things I’ve seen have a direct impact on sleep quality: 

• Bedroom temperature (it should be between 20-22 degrees celsius) 
• Fan or heater blowing directly on baby
• White noise much too loud and too close to baby
  • Have it across the room from baby
  • It shouldn’t be louder than a shower would sound
• Attire: is your baby warm enough? Or could they be too hot?
  • The general rule is to put baby in what you would wear plus one layer. This could mean a cotton sleeper and a sleep sack

How do we know if our sleep expectations are reasonable or not? Comparison can be the thief of joy, but it can also make us wonder what really is normal. Expecting a baby under 4 months to sleep through the night with no feedings isn’t realistic. That doesn’t mean it never happens, but it’s certainly not common. Having a 9-month-old who is up every 2-3 hours may be common, but it doesn’t have to be your reality. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect babies over 6 months to be sleeping in longer stretches (even all night, depending on their weight and milestones).

When we are grasping onto what minimal sleep we do have, it can make it hard to embrace a change.

We have a big ask: Embrace change, knowing that it will help your baby sleep more soundly. It can (and often does) feel uncomfortable at first. Trust the process and know that you are doing all you can to help your baby get the rest they need.